


Observation

by everAcclimating



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Horns, Light Bondage, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-01
Updated: 2012-04-01
Packaged: 2017-11-02 20:32:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/373054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/everAcclimating/pseuds/everAcclimating
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Basically, Dirk is curious about alien junk.</p><p>I really can't summarize it any better.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Observation

**Author's Note:**

> underage for 16? idk idk. it's assumed to be set a little while after they all meet face to face.
> 
> have... this. monstrosity. YOU'RE WELCOME.

When Dirk demands to see uu's bulge, it throws him for a loop at first.

" _What_."

"I know you've seen mine plenty of times using your creepy voyeurism-enabling chat client. It's only proper that you return the favor."

"What part of this is proper in your stupid human think pan."

"It's only fair. Don't be a wiggler about it," light, taunting, and so fucking _smug_ with that goddamn drawl that only appears when he wants it to.

The coy viciousness behind it works, anyway.

Everything is clinical at first - Dirk is still fully-clothed and uu isn't, wondering how the fuck he got roped into this. The blond human is crouched in front of his chair, brows knitted in thought as he examines uu's crotch like it's some kind of science experiment. He seems fascinated with other aspects, too - running a hand over a pointedly smooth chest and fingers dipping into the notches on his sides. He even attempts to coax him into arousal, more curious than anything. It's nothing like their normal pointed barbs, everything that fuels the black hate that UU claims Strider can actually manage despite being a human.

If he says 'hm' one more fucking time, uu is going to rip off his entire face.

With his teeth.

Then Dirk stops and sits back on his heels, a faint grin flitting across his otherwise unreadable features before it's gone. "Hm."

That's it.

But when uu growls and slams his weight into him to knock him backwards, Dirk _laughs_ and it sounds like he's been planning it all along. So soon as uu's teeth sink into Dirk's shoulder there are nails digging in at the bases of uu's horns and fingers curling around them to yank his head back forcefully.

He's strong for a human.

"You're a little overeager," but those stupid fucking glasses are skewed and the orange eyes behind them look half amused, half interested. "That's no way to treat a lady."

"And you're no fucking human lady," is all uu snarls before yanking his head free, hands slamming both of Dirk's wrists to the floor and digging his claws in until he feels the blood welling up beneath them.

Dirk seems almost completely unfazed though, leaning up to bite down into uu's lower lip and _tug_ ; for having such useless dull teeth he can certainly cause some damage of his own.

This may end up better than he'd originally anticipated.

Dirk probably still thinks that troll mating rituals get kind of weird, but he's not actually complaining - he apparently doesn't mind the fight of it, and the way the angry troll draws blood from him makes him gasp which is fine by him.

By the time they have to pause, breathless and panting, Dirk is astride uu's legs in nothing but his jeans and the tattered remains of his shirt are tying uu's wrists together above his head. uu can easily rip out of it if he tries but honestly, despite dismissing curiosity as a uniquely human (and stupid) trait, he can't help but wonder what this human is going to do next. Giving up power is only humiliating when you're unable to flip the situation in a second.

They're both impressively marked - uu isn't quite as bloody as Dirk, what with his tougher skin making it more difficult for blunted teeth and nails to work their way through.

Never challenge a Strider though, because they will rise to the occasion admirably. And now he sits, fingertips bloody as he trails them down uu's neck and dig in a mark already there to deepen it.

He's unnervingly calm, and uu's snarl tells the story of wanting to change that well enough but Dirk just smiles and stands, letting his jeans and underwear slide to the floor before he moves close again - sliding between uu's legs like he belongs there and scraping teeth over his thigh. It doesn't hurt - he's being strangely gentle now, but if uu was thinking about it at all the thoughts fly out the window when he feels a tongue against his bulge.

Fuck.

His gaze snaps down to Dirk and that little shit is just smirking up at him, glasses firmly in place again so he's impossible to read. But then he slides back up and his tongue is on uu's cheek and there's a little genetic material on it and that makes uu shudder. "You're disgusting."

Dirk laughs again, settling on his lap properly and rolling his hips forward - it feels nice, and uu's about to say something else when Dirk speaks instead, almost a murmur now. "So you don't want me on your bulge? I can stop."

It's mocking once more, and uu is about to snarl at him when he feels hands on his horns _again_ and when Dirk kisses him his bulge answers for him, all but coiling around Dirk's weird, unmoving one.

Human anatomy _still_ weirds him out but he can't really voice a protest when his own anatomy is responding so happily to the stimulus.

"Just. Shut up. And stop being so fucking weird about it," it's muttered against Dirk's mouth with a sharp, chastizing nip.

"I'm pretty sure your junk is what is weird in my book, but do you hear me complaining?" He's doing something to himself with his hands, fuck, and he's using uu's _genetic material_ for it, double fuck.

All of the fucks.

uu ends up just sort of watching him with a lidded stare, listening to the enticing sounds he's making.

But then Dirk's holding his bulge in one hand and lowering himself onto it and he's really not concentrating on anything else anymore.

He lets out a deeply unflattering (in his own opinion) groan at the feeling and he's almost embarrassed but Dirk's face is legitimately flushed and a little pained looking at first and he's holding utterly still like he's waiting for something.

Then, _then_ , he starts to move, hips rolling and his nails digging into uu's horns like they're the fucking reins on a hoofbeast.

uu realizes, belatedly, that that's probably what he's actually using them as. It doesn't make him as angry as it probably should.

But after a few moments Dirk's movements are slowing but he's groaning against uu's neck and when he growls a faint "stop fucking moving," against uu's ear he doesn't quite get it at first.

Then he realizes the problem and he _grins_.

He's in control again even with his hands still bound (he still hasn't bothered freeing them) and the thought delights him - of course Dirk's never experienced anything like this, and though neither has he the human is just as visbly effected by now - his head is tilted back and his glasses are slipping off and he looks like he's going to come utterly undone every time uu squirms his bulge _just a little_.

So instead of listening he keeps on - eventually one of Dirk's hands slips down to palm himself and uu continues to watch him, grinning around his labored breathing.

When he orgasms every muscle in his body tenses and it's not long afterward that uu is growling, "fuck, we don't even have a bucket."

Then, smiling slyly despite still being completely out of breath, Dirk offers one. From his sylladex.

What the fuck. But he frees uu's hands of his own accord and slides off of him with a faint grunt and lets him do it himself, watching with that same fascination as earlier. Peering over the edge of the bucket as uu uses it isn't even just _borderline_ obscene, but he can't find it in him to complain.

It's only when they're both laying there, filthy and sprawled out, that a thought hits him.

"You had a bucket. Captchalogued. This entire time."

Dirk just laughs.


End file.
